Battle of the Shapes: Squares vs. Circles
Okay, so I lied. A certain other author named SJ isn’t here to do our Monday post -glare-, so I’m writing this one. And to continue a run of meaningful topics, today I’ve decided to do squares vs. circles.
My Opinion
Hm. This is a hard one. To me this shouldn’t evoke any intense feelings, but hell, after seeing what arguments can pop up in YouTube comments, anything is possible. So, I shall choose…a circle. Because they’re cool. ^_^ Although they’re not my favorite shape. My favorite two-dimensional shape is an enneadecagon, and my favorite three-dimensional shape is a nonconvex great rhombicosidodecahedron. Yes, I looked these both up. And in case you haven’t figured it out by now, I have no life.
Test 1: Numbers Test: General Discussion
As of now, this is always the first test. We’ll just enter “squares” and “circles” into Google, just to see how much people are talking about them.
Squares: 33,100,000 results
Circles: 50,200,000 results
There you have it! Circles are 17,100,000 results more popular than circles. (And they are also 50,197,940 results more popular than my beloved nonconvex great rhombicosidodecahedron. Sob.) That means it’s Squares: 0, Circles: 1. And circles have the lead on Coolness Points, 6o-40.
Test 2: Numbers Test: Best Shape
I still think that my favorite shape is the best shape. But unfortunately entering that into Google gets you 186 results. It’s RIGGED, I tell you! A CONSPIRACY! The government doesn’t want the general population to know of the existence of such a shape! But it’s OUT THERE, I TELL YOU!
*ahem* This one’s “squares are the best shape” vs. “circles are the best shape”.
Squares are the best shape: 4,130,000 results
Circles are the best shape: 5,280,000 results
Well, although it’s close (wait, a one-million result difference is considered close?), circles win again. That puts the score at 0-2 – squares now have 84 Coolness Points, and circles have 116 – to tell you the truth, it’s not an amazing lead, and can change quickly.
Test 3: Numbers Test: Geometrical Love
Although anything that falls under the category of “geometrical love” scares me, I’ve decided to use it anyway. So in this test I’m going to see who loves what shape.
I love squares: 113,000,000 results
I love circles: 51,700,000 results
Total number of people who should never be a part of society: 164,700,000
Who knew that many people had feelings for shapes? And if we count in the lesser shapes – e.g. triangles, nonagons, nonconvex great rhombicosidodecahedrons – that should pretty much cover the equivalent of the entire population of the United States, right?
And apparently 54,300,000 can’t choose, because that’s how many results we get for “I love shapes” – be warned, our squares and triangles, and various polygons – you can’t trust these men.
But nonetheless, squares win this test by far, and they get on the board with a score of 2-1. And they also gain major Coolness Points – 69, in fact, which seems to be an appropriate amount for a test where they win all the love – bringing it to 153-147. That means that squares take the lead for Coolness Points, although not the actual score.
Test 4: Words Test: Your Favorite Shape Is
Our language-oriented fans can breathe a sigh of relief; it’s a words test! This one’s simple, it’s just “squares are” and “circles are”. And hopefully that, after seeing the above test, nothing comes up as “the source of my sexual attraction”.
Squares are: rectangles, always rectangles, not bad, rhombuses, rhombi
Circles are: forever, good, concentric, awesome, fun
Apparently the square-lovers are searching a lot, because squares still are “not bad”. But that’s 1 good suggestion minus 0 bad for squares, making it a score of +1. As for squares, it’s 3 good suggestions minus 0 bad, giving them +3. That means that circles win this test, making the score 3-1.
Test 5: Numbers Test: Can You Really Hate a Shape?
Just as the love of a shape is irrational to me, the hatred of one is the same. Here we compare the number of results for “squares suck” to “circles suck”.
Squares suck: 247,000 results
Circles suck: 798,000 results
Squares win another test! We’re nearly tied here, as the score is 3-2 with circles in the lead. Squares, however, are still winning in Coolness Points, with a score of 229-171.
Test 6: Numbers Test: Comparing Comparisons
Also a default test for the battles, we’ll compare the results of our comparisons. Comparatively.
Squares are better than circles: 1,500,000 results
Circles are better than squares: 2,380,000 results
Apparently circles aren’t willing to tie here! At least, the circles that aren’t inanimate objects aren’t. But circles win again, making it 4-2. Win score? I think so. As for Coolness Points, squares gain 39 and circles gain 61, bringing it to 268-232.
Test 7: Numbers Test: Geometry H8rs
Some just aren’t phased by geometry. They have better things to do with their lives, and rightfully so. But which shapes are the least likely to pull them in?
Squares are boring: 6,940,000 results
Circles are boring: 1,290,000 results
Apparently people are more mesmerized by circles than they are squares, and that means that circles win again, making it 5-2 as we go into the final test. As for Coolness Points, circles finally gain a lead in those with 284-316. But perhaps the squares can regain the status of Cool, even if they have lost the battle? Can the squares lose with dignity? Find out next week…on By the Numbers!
(Final) Test 8: Numbers Test: The True Favourite Shape
That week went fast, didn’t it? This is the final test, the test to see which shape is the true favourite shape – it’s simply “my favorite shape is a square” up against “my favorite shape is a circle”. And in case you’re wondering about the differences I use in the spelling of “favourite”, I like to use British spellings, despite being an American, but for the tests I use American spellings, just to be consistent with my fellow author.
My favorite shape is a square: 1,490,000 results
My favorite shape is a circle: 913,000 results
It seems that squares win the final test, bringing the score to 5-3. And as for Coolness Points, squares lose by just 8 – 346-354.
Coolness Quotients: Squares – 49%, Circles – 51%
Final Verdict
Squares and circles are matched pretty evenly, but in the end, circles end up being the better shape, and are just barely Cooler than squares. But squares, despite being slightly less cool, attract more than twice as many lovers.
Comment below what you think! And if you like this blog, share it with your friends! Hell, share it with your enemies! We’re sure that they’ll all love it! And it wouldn’t hurt to share on Twitter, Facebook, or perhaps on your own blog ^^ SJ and I thank you in advance!
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